Where am I? Where’s the door? How’d
I get here? Come on we’ve all been there, no you haven’t just woken up in a
strangers bedroom after one of those ‘I’ll only have one… oh look where did
that second bottle come from and why is it empty’ nights, no, you’ve just woken
up from a really vivid dream. You know the ones where you wake up believing you’re
in your childhood bedroom, you’re seven again and momentarily all you want is
sugar and your favourite teddy bear… just me? I digress.
This has been happening to me a
lot lately (the vivid dreams that is, not so much the sugar and teddy bear
part), maybe it’s the weather that’s been transforming my room into an unwanted
mid-slumber sauna or maybe it’s the funky smelling cheese I called supper the
other night, who knows!? But I have a sneaking suspicion it may be all the wild
and inspiring thoughts that have been lacing, neigh laying rampage to my
thoughts recently, quashing and dampening the self-loathing negative thoughts
of late to one side and rendering them ever so more obsolete.
(The next few posts may
come out in quick succession as ones I have been scribbling and doodling down
for mere release, which will inevitably explain more about how this post has
come along, but for some unbeknownst reason have not made it to the light of
day.)
How strange it is that these
dreams, when you allow other thoughts and options into your mind, seem to
flourish and all of a sudden you’re not dreaming in monotone but everything is in
high contrast and clear but yet all so puzzling so that you wake up feeling as
though a tiny little switch has been released and yet only fleeting images are
all you’re left with to try and explain why. Things feel different this time
although I can’t quite place my finger on why, when or how, I think it’s this
house, I’m not scared of it like I have been about so many before, it’s like my
little night light, I never feel lonely here. When Em and I first moved here we
dubbed this ‘the healing house’, and sometimes I think a whirlwind can appear
from no where if only someone can start the breeze, kind of positive things
from positive intentions. All I know is with a little bit of patience I think I’m
starting to feel my darkness shift and these vivid dreams, although sometimes
unnerving, are starting to work through all my clutter and fog that has been
weighing me down.
“Happiness
can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on
the light.”
-
Albus
Dumbledore
I believe I fully understand now what JK meant when
she wrote this line, or more that I’m starting to believe that I believe it.
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