I think we all do, some more intentionally than others. But I seem to be hurting people a lot lately. Which kind of makes it feel like a habit. A horrible habit, I kind of habit I hate about myself.
As a human race it is not in our law to be cruel. We hurt people but not out of cruelty, but when feelings are involved especially in love it ends in one of two ways; love (obviously), or war. What I'm beginning to realise though is that I have previously looked at people who have been the heartbreaker as strong and worldly, they don't care. I was wrong, I (upsettingly) continue to be wrong, because these people have taken a little bit of this hurt and buried it, they don't face it, they are strong because it has made them strong. No one admits the heartache only the wisdom it has given them.
I don't feel too strong right now, I'm feeling that break, a lot of that break.
Because I've hurt, and in doing so have (apparently) done the right thing. I have no idea what to do with this pain because previously I have run away, in a way that I have never actually had to deal with emotional heartbreak head on. In the game of emotional chicken I have lost, facing the car head on I've never been the last one standing. How about that, at 23, I've been hit but never stayed to find out the damage. I've been the driver I've dealt with it by looking in the rear view.
Turns out hurting people becomes a right of growing up.
You take the hit because you can't break a heart with one hand and hold it together with the other.
You can't push someone and be there to catch them when you're falling too.
Who knew.
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