I'm a private person in many ways and open in others, so much so that people don't often know how I really feel and mistake it for not caring, this is not the case. Like many I've gone through tough spots and I've closed off, I've got my walls like everyone else, infact I do believe cruel and unusual is how I was recently described, ('if only he knew', my head proclaimed!!). However after thinking more on my falling thought it's like something clicked, like something kind of went 'ok, let's try this again' and I've shifted. I've become all 'oh god I like him', you know ready to get up 30minutes earlier to do my makeup and straighten my hair -esque... Ok maybe not, let's not get carried away, but it got me thinking even more, maybe the whole feeling more isn't a bad thing afterall. It's starting to feel like a kind of blessing, a little bit if a relief, stopping pushing away and overthinking and just listening to everything, giving your heart chance to actually want something, when was the last time you listened to that small anatomical genius in your chest? Are you missing out on something because all that fears still shouting out over the voice saying 'I really want this... Please?'. It doesn't have to be a guy (or a girl), hell(!) it could even be a haircut! See cos I've got these butterflies; bright and sparkly ones, in my dark and twisty body... It kind of feels nice, maybe it's not so bad to let love back in, maybe just a little bit.
Oh god next I'll be cuddling!
