Maybe tomorrow?

There's a little voice in my head saying don't fuck it up this time, it sits next to the voice saying we'll start again tomorrow. We're always telling ourselves tomorrow, we're always starting out diet, our exercise regime, our quit it and quick fix scheme later, but never today. But what if today is all you've got, what if you haven't got tomorrow? I mean you're already not the person you were yesterday. 

I work in a hospital, in trauma and I work in theatre and I know that a lot of people don't even make it to us, we can't help and that's changed things for me and I'm going to tell you why. 

For me it was Grey's Anatomy, you watch these programmes and you watch them to be entertained and it's true a lot of the time what happens on there doesn't happen in reality, partly because if it did it would mean the NHS has infinite money and secondly because we're not all sleeping with each other (where is Mcsteamy and Mcdreamy? All I have is Mcdreary, most of the time). My point is most trauma patients aren't acrobats or stunt drivers or in some disastrous accident, they're taking out the bins, falling over kerbs or going to work, one minute they're just living their lives and next thing they're on our table.

It really makes you realise life is just too short, everything changes so quickly and so much is out of our control, and believe me, I don't like that. So no more tomorrow's, because if it's worth starting then it's worth starting today, I'm sick of spending my life living in tomorrow, fad diet? No thanks it's time for a change and screw it I'm going travelling, 2016 is going to be my year! I'll save like hell and disappear for a year or two because if I'm more likely to end up on the table than an adrenaline junkie is, why aren't I jumping out of more planes?